Thursday, August 7, 2014

Sunshine beyond rain...

Ever wondered how a normal morning turns into a nightmare you have been thrust into after waking up?

It all starts because we are so used to routine - and my routine works like a precision clockwork, not the slightest glitch! And then a small thing, as innocuous as rising 30 minutes late snowballs into a storm of massive proportions, at least in my head.
It begins with the late rising, is compounded by the cook not coming on time and you left wondering if she is going to turn up or should you start cooking? No yoga today then! The weekly menu for lunch that you have so carefully planned cannot be executed because out of all the vegetables, capsicum decides to play hide-and-seek today!
You ditch the plan and furiously attack the onions and tomatoes (it is the easiest vegetable to make!). Half way through you realize - wait a minute, this is exactly what i had for lunch yesterday, didn't i? Continue making it? Ditch it? aahhh....decisions!
You decide to take a break and make your morning cup of tea only to realize your favorite cup is missing...where could it have gone? Frantic search reveals it hiding behind a pile of unwashed dishes from yesterday that your husband had promised to clean! You have tea in some other cup and you know it just isn't the same. You open the newspaper and it is wet. Can't read that now. So i guess it is back to cooking my vegetable...wait..the same one as yesterday? YES!
The minute you finish the vegetable, the cook shows up. Got delayed by the rain, it seems. Perfectly plausible, but by now common sense has decided to sneak out on you. No, you say, it is a silly excuse! Carry an umbrella, woman! Of course all of this is happening in your head! In my city, the house-hold help is to be revered. They are a scarce and unpredictable resource after all.
And then the electricity wants to join the "lets-ruin-her-day-the-best-we-can" band wagon too and decides to go AWOL. So now you are faced with the chilling prospect of a cold bath. And the set of clothes which you had laid out last night - to be ironed in the morning - are staring at you disdainfully.
Quick you grab something else from your wardrobe..i mean after all your husband keeps complaining about the volume of clothes you have - no, not the white shirt - its raining, nope not the light brown trousers, not in a mood for anything dark, na...too colorful, too dull, doesn't fit anymore...i am fat! oh no, i should lose weight...damn the choco chip cupcake that i had lovingly made for my husband yesterday! Not that old sweater! That's it ! I am officially out of clothes. "I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR", i scream!
Finally grabbing the first thing that comes in my hand i am ready - to get ready for work!
Oh, did i forget to mention the toothpaste that couldn't be squeezed out anymore?

It is funny how little things add up in your head and make it impossible for you to think straight.
My husband wakes up and is blissfully unaware of the war zone that he is going to be a part of. When i launch into a detailed account of my actions for every missile fired at me, I realize...that is just silly.

I mean so what if the cook doesn't gives me a chance to order in at office - from the yummy bakery down at the end of the lane. Did they not have a new menu i have been meaning to check out? My husband is absolutely non fussy. The news of not having a lunch box is greeted by.."cool, no prob i will figure something out". Yes, i am sure he will.
Remember the days as children when we didn't want to have a bath on a cold day....we would go inside splash some water on the walls and our face and come out declaring what a cleansing bath we had? Well, guess what, I don't even have to splash water on the walls anymore! I can just say - "As an adult today, with no one to answer to, I have made a decision to postpone my bath from the morning to the evening today" Ahh...the freedom, the liberation...
Can't read the wet newspaper? Ever wondered at the joy of waking up and reading the novel by your bedside, like it is your day off?
And i have nothing to know that means only one thing - a trip to the mall! offline or online..whatever!

How quickly we lose perspective of real things. Is it really that easy to
upset our balance, our sanity?
How important is routine really, that a slight change can manipulate our direction for the day?
I have got to be stronger than the little imbalances of daily life.
So starting today, i am going to vary one thing in my routine, every day. Today i had breakfast before my bath. I never do that...but i did today and it did not put an end to my world.
And every time something does not happen to plan, I am going to ask myself - "does this alter a single significant thing in my life?" or "Am i going to be thinking about this tomorrow?"

And with that, I take a deep breath and get my yoga mat out.

I can finally see the sunshine beyond the rain!

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